About 20 mins ago I had a text from a friend of mine telling me that my husband (we’re separated) had a car accident today and that it didn’t look good, asking me if he was ok.
Obv he doesn’t think I’m worth telling. Apparently, he was coming to a turning on a country road and an 18 y.o. girl in a Mini Cooper S came bombing along on his side of the road and hit him.
He reckons he’s ok and that he was checked out at the hospital and given painkillers. He didn’t really tell me much but the car’s a write off.
About 20 mins ago I had a text from a friend of mine telling me that my husband (we’re separated) had a car accident today and that it didn’t look good, asking me if he was ok.
Obv he doesn’t think I’m worth telling. Apparently, he was coming to a turning on a country road and an 18 y.o. girl in a Mini Cooper S came bombing along on his side of the road and hit him.
He reckons he’s ok and that he was checked out at the hospital and given painkillers. He didn’t really tell me much but the car’s a write off.
Stil, I’m not important enough to be told....
I know how you feel,a bit different when my nan and uncle died, my kind hearted brother told me when my uncle died,i read about my nan in the paper on the day of her funeral,i hope your ex husband gets better soon.I sure know how you feel,i was not important enough to be told,why did they not tell me because i spoke to my mum.Bloody stupid if you ask me,sorry if i rambled on.
Also he may not want the fuss that telling people would involve
When we had a car crash a few years ago Dh didnt want to tell his family because of the fuss and attention it would bring
Obviously I dont know what your ex is like but it may be a similar thing
Just had a text from my MIL - apparently he has whiplash and shock. Doesn’t surprise me. Looking at the car, he’s lucky he could get out and walk away. Needless to say, I’ll give him a ring tomorrow to see how he’s feeling.
No ... I didn’t tell my kids either - I was getting married six days later and didn’t want to worry them! Honestly your brain goes a bit la la ...
And perhaps he didnt want to come across as a drama queen ... how would he have told you “oh by the way, I know we are not together right now but I’ve just had a nasty prang ...” Don’t think there was an easy way for him to get it right.
However, I am so not making excuses for him as men really do not need us making excuses for them ... they cope quite well on their own!!!!
x
I can understand him not wanting to say anything to Aston - not that he’d understand anyway - he’s only 2. But since he was supposed to be having Aston for the weekend it would have been nice of him to let me know what was going on. As it is, I only know cuz I phoned him!
I can understand him not wanting to say anything to Aston - not that he’d understand anyway - he’s only 2. But since he was supposed to be having Aston for the weekend it would have been nice of him to let me know what was going on. As it is, I only know cuz I phoned him!
At least it will give you another aspect of your feelings for him.
Hope you both feel better soon, you sound like you are in that eggshell stage after a relationship breakdown where you are both still a little unsure emotionally and when a child is invovled it makes even harder (got the tshirt blah blah blah). Try not to take it personally I’m sure it wasn’t meant that way, how would you have gone about telling him if it was the other way round? I’m sure you would have wanted a chance to think about how you told him, unfortunately for him someone else got to you first before he had a chance to sort himself out. Please be thankful your son does still have his father (sorry that wasn’t meant as harshly as it sounds) and as Gill said another aspect of your feelings will be able to be dealt with towards him. The healing process can take years after a realationship breakdown. Neither my kids or I saw much my ex after we split up so even after 15 years on the odd occasion we have crossed paths its still difficult (admittedly, mainly because I still want to put my hands around his neck and squeeze very hard for ignoring our children and letting them feel it was their fault that he never contacted them again).
Neither my kids or I saw much my ex after we split up so even after 15 years on the odd occasion we have crossed paths its still difficult (admittedly, mainly because I still want to put my hands around his neck and squeeze very hard for ignoring our children and letting them feel it was their fault that he never contacted them again).
that is so sad. I can never understand how people (mostly men) give up on their kids…
Don’t take it personally, it’s always difficult to know what the right thing to do is when you’re newly separated. You’re so used to talking to the one person you can’t talk to anymore.
He’s probably also doing the typical male “ostrich” thing. If he doesn’t talk about it, it didn’t happen. He’s in shock as well, remember so definitely will be in denial about the whole thing.
Don’t get cross with him, just make sure he knows if he can’t cope with Aston at the weekend then you will understand and can take over if necessary.
I was just ranting really. Just thought that maybe my mother in law would have let me know. Oh well.... no harm done I suppose. Going to ring him in a minute to find out how he’s feeling today.
Neither my kids or I saw much my ex after we split up so even after 15 years on the odd occasion we have crossed paths its still difficult (admittedly, mainly because I still want to put my hands around his neck and squeeze very hard ).
I can really relate to that Nicky! My ex does make a token effort to see James, but only if it doesn’t interfere with his social life. He hasn’t seen him for 3 weeks now because he went on holiday with his new girlfriend, and didn’t even phone James on his birthday. James doesn’t think anything of it though, which is a good thing, he’s so used to it.
I’m normally a very placid person and can’t be bothered with temper tantrums, however my ex turns me into an irrational harpy almost instantly. I just get so hurt and angry on James’s behalf.
